Epithalamion - carleton97

What Merton never seemed to realize, the thing that amazed Tommy the most about the whole wolf thing was that he could smell Merton. 

It wasn't just after a long night of fighting evil, or the everyday scent of warm beeswax and dust on circuitry either, but things like fear and anger and hurt. 

And lust. 

The lust intrigued Tommy. Even before his rather lackluster romances with Stacy and Lori, he'd been pretty sure other boys held a lot more interest for him than girls, but becoming the wolf proved it. Oh, it was ready to come out and play when it scented lust on the girls, but it was more of an irresistible response to the hormonal stew in the air than any conscious desire to mate. 

The wolf really didn't give a shit about Stacy or Lori or any of the other girls that sometimes crossed his path, but it loved the locker room. Tommy had to admit he was rather fond of it himself even if he was a little uncomfortable with the direction his sexuality seemed to be taking him. It wasn't that he thought it was wrong or bad or anything, just…difficult. 

The thing was, despite the pheromones swimming around him, Merton had never given any indication he was interested in guys in general or Tommy in particular. Tommy thought maybe it was a survival instinct for Merton. Things at school were bad enough, but if there was actual evidence to support the rumors floating around that he was gay, Tommy guessed he'd have to spend even more time rescuing him from the various bullies and psychopaths he attracted. So Tommy didn't push the issue.

Even if he would have liked to. 

Even if he sometimes dreamed about what it would be like to slide forward through those last few inches of personal space between them and taste the skin covering Merton's pulse, the curve of his cheek, the length of his mouth. Even if the wolf had stopped eyeing every guy in a letter jacked and had started urging Tommy to claim what was his, to give them what the both needed. 

So while Merton seemed completely unaware of Tommy's growing frustration, it was becoming more and more difficult for Tommy to remain oblivious to his appeal. The scent of his desire was growing stronger and starting to mix with other things like trust and hopelessness and something so quiet and sweet Tommy was afraid to name it. 

The wolf was getting harder to control too. Whenever it caught the spicy, somehow sad scent drifting off of Merton, it was all Tommy could to hold himself in check. To not throw back his head and empty everything he was into a cloud-shattering howl. 

Like tonight, for example. They were just hanging out in the lair, watching movies and enjoying the rare, evil free Friday night. Merton wasn't acting any differently than usual, but the pure want coming off of him was so strong Tommy could hardly concentrate. 

The next time he walked past, desire trailing in his wake like a comet's tail, Tommy decided he'd ignored it long enough. He was pretty sure this wasn't going to be a mistake, that he wasn't going to ruin the best friendship he could ever hope to have, but even it was and he did, he figured he'd eventually do something just as stupid if he went on ignoring the chemical invitation emanating from the other boy. 

"Hey, Merton?" And there must have been something in his voice because Merton froze, his lecture on the history of Hammer Studios breaking off mid-sentence. "Did you know feelings have a smell?"

Merton stilled for a long moment, his heartbeat stuttering violently enough for Tommy to notice it from across the room, before making an obvious effort to relax. "Really?"

Tommy pushed himself up off the off the couch and reached towards the ceiling in a lazy stretch. He smiled at the fresh swell of desire in the air as he slowly lowered his arms and moved to stand next to Merton, his chest brushing the other boy's arm. "Yeah, it was weird at first, but then it got to be kind of cool."

"Cool?" Merton shifted just enough to put a little space between them. 

"Yeah. It was a challenge trying to figure out exactly what smell was a specific feeling."

"But you figured them out?"

"Yeah." Tommy pressed in a little closer. 

Standing this close to him, Tommy could feel the tiny shiver work its way through Merton's body. The other boy cleared his throat nervously and shifted away again, making a valiant effort at continuing the conversation. "I'd think it would vary from person to person. How do you know what's simple fear for one person isn't hysteria for another?"

"There are slight differences, but in general it's the same. And you're especially easy." Tommy leaned forward to press his nose into the soft hair behind Merton's ear. 

"God, Tommy, what are you doing?" Merton brought his hand up, maybe to push him away, and Tommy caught it, weaving his tanned fingers through paler ones. 

"Sniffing you." He squeezed his fingers lightly and traced a line over the shell of his ear with the tip of his nose. 

"Tommy, please, I - " Merton's voice was quiet and thick, his whole body shaking. Tommy could smell panic and, even worse, the beginnings of humiliation and misery souring the smell of his desire.

Tommy curled his free hand around the back of Merton's neck, brushing his thumb over the baby-soft hairs there, trying to soothe him. He traced random patterns from the collar of Merton's shirt to the edge of his hair until the panic slowly receded. Tommy didn't bother to stop the approving rumble from deep in his chest. 

He shook his hand free of Merton's and shifted a little, pulling the smaller boy to him and resting his cheek against the soft spikes of hair until he felt him relax in tiny increments. The amorphous misery and humiliation remained, but once Tommy was sure he wasn't going to bolt, he loosened his hold, letting his hands linger on his shoulders. 

Merton took a deep breath and stepped back just enough to separate them. "If you're going to kill, maim, or otherwise damage me, I'd prefer if you just got on with it."

"I don't ever want to hurt you, Merton. You're my best friend. All you have to do is tell me you don't want this and I'll stop." The wolf offered a violent protest to this course of action, but Tommy ignored it.

"Tommy, I don't know what 'this' is." Merton gestured wildly around the room, as if to encompass everything that had occurred there. "One minute we're watching movies just like always and the next you're - I don't even know."

Tommy smiled, grinned actually, when he realized Merton got it. He might not know he got it, but he did. "You're absolutely right. It was just like always. We were together and I wanted you so much - God, don't you know how hard it is to want you, to *know* you want me, and not be able to do anything? It's been killing me."

Merton cocked his head to the side, as if he didn't quite understand what Tommy was saying. "So this isn't pity or mercy or anything?"

Tommy opened and closed his mouth twice, trying to find the words - any words - to refute such a ridiculous claim, but none came. Where logic failed him, though, instinct was ready. The inner clamor of the wolf had reached a fever pitch and Tommy decided to go with it. 


He ignored the insistent nownowwanttake pounding through his head and gently cradled Merton's face in his palms before carefully fitting their mouths together. Merton's mouth was soft and warm and so very responsive under his own and Tommy didn't know what he expected kissing Merton to feel like, but he was pretty sure 'home' hadn't been one of his first choices. He parted his lips and had a moment to be smugly gratified at the quick slide of Merton's tongue against his before the explosion of heat and taste drove every thought but 'more' from his head. 

Merton tasted of hope and desperation and a permanence that left Tommy a little shaken and the wolf ecstatic. If scent had let Tommy know Merton wanted him, taste let him know he belonged to him, that they belonged together. 

This was right. This was good. This was - 

Merton wrenched himself away from Tommy and stumbled back a couple of steps. "We have to stop." 

"What?" Tommy shook his head slightly, unaware of the steady, low-pitched growl he was emitting. Stopping was bad. Merton wanted this as much as he did. Merton wanted *him* just as much as he wanted Merton. He knew that as surely as he knew his own name. 

Merton moved back towards him and hesitantly rested a hand over Tommy's heart. "Tommy, we can't fool around with this."

Tommy tensed against the unexpectedly sharp spike of hurt that caused. "I'm not just fooling around."

The hand on his chest started to pet him almost unconsciously. "I know you're serious, Tommy, but I had a thought that became a hypothesis, so I've been making some inquiries and I wasn't going to say anything until I was sure and I'm *not* sure, but the preliminary results seem pretty conclusive and, wow, I never thought I'd be talking about this in relation to me because talk about skewing your data - "

"Merton, just spit it out." It had to be something big; Merton almost never got that incomprehensible. 

"Right. Okay." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "What do you know about wolves? I mean, real wolves?"

"Jeez, Merton, I don't know." Tommy wracked his brain for any sort of information on wolves of the four-legged variety, leaning into the hand still planted in the center of his chest. "They're smart; they travel in packs; they mate - "

He felt a visceral jolt of *something* at this newest bit of werewolf craziness in his life. It felt…right in a way he didn't know if he was ready to deal with yet, but he could almost feel the wolf nodding in agreement with the idea. Yes. Mine. Always.

Merton grabbed Tommy's arm, as if to prevent him from bolting right out of the room. "I'm not sure, that's why I'm researching." 

"But you think so." Heedless of Merton's grip on him, Tommy backed towards the table and sat down hard before his knees gave out. 

"All signs point to yes." Merton sat on the couch in front of him, leaving his hand on Tommy's arm. 

"Jesus." Tommy sat up straight and grabbed Merton's shoulders as a thought occurred to him. "So I can't ever - "

"I don't *know*, Tommy. It's not like there's a lot of information on the mating habits of modern werewolves out there." He moved restlessly under Tommy's hands, obviously still a little turned on and embarrassed.

"I know. I'm sorry. I just - " Shaking off the rest of his words, he leaned forward and dropped his forehead into the curve of the other boy's neck. After a few seconds, a warm hand settled on the back of his neck and Tommy relaxed into the loose embrace, letting the soft, familiar scent of Merton's body calm his suddenly whirling thoughts. This close, Tommy could tell the second Merton's desire was subsumed by compassion, by caring, and he *knew* he'd never find this with anyone else.

And he didn't even want to look for it anywhere else.

Suddenly, it was that easy. 

Decision made, Tommy turned his head to taste the skin of Merton's neck as he slid to his knees in front of the couch and enfolded the other boy in his arms. 

"Tommy, what are you doing?" Merton pushed against his shoulders and Tommy sat back on heels, resting his hands on his knees. 

He took a moment to consider the full import of his decision, to let the rightness of it settle into his bones before smiling a little crookedly at Merton and setting his hands on either side of his hips, effectively boxing him in. "Choosing."

Merton swayed forward, surprised joy flickering over his face before he caught himself. "You can't just - "

"Yeah, I can." Tommy stuck his head under Merton's chin and sniffed almost delicately, not even bothering to quiet the happy growl he made at the smaller boy's convulsive shudder. "That's the whole point."

"Tommy - "

How Merton could be arguing even as he pushed his fingers into his hair would always be a mystery to Tommy. "If you're not sure about this, about me, tell me to stop and I will. If you want to go slow, we will. If you want to wait, we will. This is too important for me to fuck up because I'm impatient, I know, but you're the best thing that ever happened to me. I want you. Forever." 

"Why?" The bemused, not-quite plaintive question tore at Tommy and he wanted to kill everyone who ever made Merton afraid to believe in this, in them. 

"You know the wolf has all these…instincts that tell me when to duck in a fight, when someone's lying to me, when I need to run like hell, right?" Tommy fought against the temptation to close his eyes as Merton began gently scratching around the circumference of his scalp. "There are other kinds of instincts too. I know when I'm safe. I know who it's okay to trust. And to those instincts you're…everything good. You're safe and you're trust and you're *home* but you're more than any of that because you're my friend." 

Merton had stilled at some point during his recitation, his hands falling to his thighs. He only moved again when Tommy worriedly said his name. 

"Wow. You're really sure about this."

"Yeah, I am." Tommy let his fingers ghost over the back of Merton's hand, suddenly nervous. He'd been so sure Merton wanted the same thing. "What about you? I mean, I know it's a huge thing and you don't have to decide right now, but do you think maybe - "

Merton twisted his hand and grabbed Tommy's fingers with surprising strength. "Yes." 

"Yeah?" Tommy carefully squeezed the hand in his, trying to ignore the smug lupine celebration going on inside his head. 

"Yeah." At Tommy's delighted smile, the tension drained out of Merton and he used their joined hands to pull the other boy back to him. 

As soon as their lips touched, it was if they had never been interrupted. Tommy shifted, trying to get as close to Merton as he could. He grabbed the hard curve of the other boy's hips and pulled him forward until his knees rested on either side of Tommy's chest. 

Freed of Tommy's hold, Merton's hands seemed irresistibly drawn to Tommy. He brushed over the planes of his face, the line of his throat, the breadth of his shoulders, his fingertips creating a gentle counterpoint to the increasingly frantic movement of their mouths. 

Tommy's hands were busy working on the buttons of Merton's shirt. He fought against the urge to simply rend the fabric and be done with it, the restraint making his hands clumsy. With a grunt of relief, he released the final button and pushed the loose garment over Merton's shoulders and down his arms. He pulled back a little, dragging air into his desperate lungs, and let his hands and eyes learn the texture of Merton's flushed skin. 

He was pale, of course, and thin, but not as thin as Tommy expected. There was a wiry strength evident in the normally hidden muscles of his arms and chest. In the dim light of the room, he seemed to glow and Tommy couldn't resist sliding his fingers through the narrow line of dark hair bisecting Merton's stomach. Abdominal muscles tightened and twitched under his light caress and he filed the reaction away for later use. Pressing a little more firmly, he traced a path over Merton's ribs to the curve of his spine, massaging the lean muscles of his back.

Driven to match flavor to scent, he leaned forward and pressed his lips to the base of Merton's throat, unconsciously tracking the beat of his heart. He let his tongue flick out for a brief taste before pulling the salty skin into his mouth and marking a small patch. He felt Merton shudder and his hands scrabbled for purchase on Tommy's t-shirt, yanking it over his head and breaking the suction of his mouth. 

Cool hands traced a path from his wrists down the exposed underside of his arms and over his sides to rest against the waistband of his jeans and Tommy was suddenly, achingly aware of his arousal. He could feel the tease of Merton's body heat against his bare skin, but it wasn't enough. With a quick jerk, he pulled Merton off the couch and onto his lap.

One of them, maybe both, groaned at the sudden shock of skin against skin. Tommy rubbed small circles against Merton's back, unable to touch enough of the soft skin. Merton's fingers dug into the muscles of his shoulders and he lowered his mouth to Tommy's, rocking their hips together. 

After the briefest, teasing sweep of tongue against Tommy's lower lip, Merton pulled back, heavy-eyed and almost feral in his desire. He reached behind Tommy and shoved the table out of the way, then used his grip on his shoulders to topple Tommy to the ground.

Tommy blinked at the other boy's unexpected aggression and reached up to drag Merton on top of him. Merton caught his wrists, though, and used his weight to pin him to the floor. It was on the tip of Tommy's tongue to ask Merton what the hell he thought he was doing - there was already one alpha in this room, thank you very much - but he subsided when Merton leaned down and began scenting Tommy just as thoroughly as he himself had been scented. 

He wasn't sniffing or doing anything that obvious; rather, he simply hovered over Tommy, his breath hot against the curve of his throat, breathing in his scent. It wasn't obnoxious or even all that apparent what he was doing, but by the time he lifted his head, Tommy was shaking, harder than he could ever remember being. 

Tacitly giving Merton license to do as he wished, Tommy tipped his head back, baring his throat to the other boy. Merton kissed a path down his exposed throat and Tommy found himself whispering, almost subvocally.

"Please, don't - God, don't stop... Best thing... Merton, please."

Merton raised his head, the wild look in his eyes softening, and he brushed his thumbs over the tendons in Tommy's wrists before shifting slightly to weave their fingers together. He stretched out over Tommy, using their joined hands to straighten their arms up over their heads, and kissed him softly.

Something broke open inside of Tommy - some barrier he didn't even known he'd constructed - and all he wanted to do was crawl inside Merton and never leave. He relaxed into the kiss, letting his body be molded by Merton's will. He left his eyes closed and his arms sprawled out at his sides when Merton's hands left his to work at the fastenings of his pants. Tommy knew he should probably help but the wolf was strangely comfortable with the continued passivity and it seemed somehow appropriate to allow the other boy this freedom over his body. 

The pressure in his groin eased slightly with the slow separation of his zipper and it was all Tommy could do not to thrust up against the fingers carefully easing back the heavy denim. He lifted his hips at Merton's urging and then kicked the tangle of denim and boxer shorts down and off his legs, managing to toe off his socks at the same time. He heard Merton shifting next to him and the sound of fabric against skin let him know Merton had removed the remainder of his clothing. 

Hands twitching, Tommy waited. He held himself still against thick silence in the room, feeling the heaviness of Merton's gaze and wanting nothing more than hands on his skin, to dive back into the whirlwind of sensation, but he waited. He felt words struggling to break free - wholly unnecessary appeals for trust, for fidelity, for love - yet still he waited. 

Finally, decades later, he felt a gentle hand on his face. The soft touch seemed to break the strange thrall he'd been held in and his eyes fluttered open as he covered the hand on his face with his own. He smiled at Merton's solemn expression and, with a move only slightly enhanced by supernatural strength, yanked the other boy down and rolled on top of him.

Once the initial, immobilizing jolt of nakedhotgood passed, Tommy shook his head and grinned down at his best friend. It was…strange to have Merton sprawled out underneath him. Strange but very, very good. Strong arms came up to hold him even as Merton was still blinking in shock. Supporting his weight on elbows, Tommy nuzzled the other boy's face. "This is more like it."

Merton narrowed his eyes and before Tommy had time to think anything other than, 'Oh, crap,' he had planted his feet on the ground and heaved, reversing their positions. Motionless under the weight of the other boy, Tommy again felt the wolf's wriggling approval at Merton's assertiveness. Merton dipped his head down, letting his breath feather out over Tommy's lips and shifting until he had their legs completely tangled together. 

Splaying his hands on Merton's lower back, Tommy silently urged him to move, to do something to ease the burning ache that had taken up residence between his thighs. Pulling back from teasing Tommy's mouth and resting his weight on his hands, Merton shifted his hips experimentally, letting the head of his erection skim the soft skin of Tommy's belly. They both shuddered at the contact and Tommy pressed upwards, moving his grip to Merton's waist to better direct the movement. 

Merton helped; he pushed himself up onto his hands and knees and hovered there, moving so that his legs were outside of Tommy's. Merton slowly let his lower body come to rest against Tommy, unconsciously rolling his hips to find the most pleasurable contact. The first slow slide of cock against cock tore a low, animal groan out of Tommy and he flexed his hands on Merton, trying not to bruise the thin skin over his hips. He slid his hands up his back and Merton dropped his head, shoulder blades sharp against Tommy's hands and thrust again, a little more forcefully. 

An almost painful wave of pleasure shivered up Tommy's spine as he continued to move with Merton. The sweaty glide of skin on skin was almost too much for his sharpened senses to bear. Tommy was used to his body; he knew what it was capable of and was learning to push those limits, but this was something beyond his experience. Heat and scent and Merton surrounded him and he pulled the other boy down so that they were completely tangled, automatically reaching for Merton's mouth.

He fell into their kiss, into the unrestrained movements of their bodies, letting everything he knew, everything he was fall away until there was nothing left of him. Until he couldn't tell where he ended and Merton began. He never wanted this moment to end. He wanted to wrap himself in the nearly tangible joy of their communion, in the awareness of this moment, and never ever let go. The body above him tightened fractionally and Tommy found himself tensing in response, straining against and towards the release his body demanded. 

Merton pulled back slightly, his eyes glazed with lust and happiness. His fingers played over the ridges of Tommy's ears, every touch raising an army of goosebumps over his arms and shoulders. Tommy rather unsuccessfully swallowed a whimper and Merton's eyes sharpened for a moment. He smiled slowly and ran his lips over Tommy's cheekbone before ever so slowly licking the outside curve of his ear.

Tommy shuddered and surrendered to the inevitable. He wrapped Merton in his arms and came, his body pulsing in time to the ragged breaths still blowing across the shell of his ear. The edges of his vision grayed slightly as his ejaculate painted the skin of their stomachs and, even on the edge of unconsciousness, completely wrecked from the orgasm still twitching through his nerves, Tommy felt a tiny jab of arousal as Merton's pleased moan became a choked off cry of completion and he added his own heat to the slick mess between them.


Tommy floated. He didn't think it strange to be floating even with Merton twitching on top of him. It was...pleasant. He came back to earth slowly, nuzzling towards Merton's mouth and instinctively rolling his quivering mate underneath him. They kissed lazily, not trying to arouse so much as clinging to the intimacy they had created. 

Eventually, Tommy lifted his head and ran gentle fingers over Merton's kiss-bruised mouth. "Hi."

Long fingers combed through his damp hair. "Hi."

Tommy felt Merton's rib cage expand as he breathed and realized he was probably crushing the smaller boy. "Am I too heavy?"

Merton's emphatic head shake ended his reluctant attempt to move. With a happy sigh, he shifted to rest his head on the other boy's chest. Wiry arms circled his shoulders and one hand curled over the back of his head to hold him in place. Tommy closed his eyes and felt himself settle into the rhythm of Merton's heart. 

A sudden wave of goosebumps roughened every patch of skin not covered by Tommy and Merton pushed at the other boy's shoulders. "I am cold, clammy and in desperate need of a wet-wipe."

Tommy smiled and reached over towards the jumbled pile of clothing next to them, pulling out the first piece of clothing he grabbed - Merton's boxers - and sat up to wipe off most of the mess on them. He tossed the damp cloth towards the hamper in the corner and dropped kiss on his stomach before levering them both to their feet and herding Merton towards the bed. 

Wrapped in bedding and Merton, Tommy felt truly content for the first time in a long time, perhaps ever. He turned his head a little to press a kiss to Merton's breastbone and couldn't resist a quick sniff to catalogue Merton's changed scent. 

The other boy laughed and pulled Tommy's head up. "What do I smell like now, Spot?"

"Mostly me." He smirked, for once in total agreement with the possessive wolfy thoughts running through his head.

Merton rolled his eyes and used his grip on Tommy's hair to carefully shake his head. "That's not what I meant."

Tommy shook free of the loose hold on his hair and dipped his head for another long sniff, punctuating it with a swipe of tongue across the nipple nearest his mouth. Merton whimpered a little and Tommy folded his hands on the other boy's chest and rested his chin on them. He smiled gently. 

"You smell happy."


Disclaimer: Big Wolf on Campus doesn't belong to me. I'm just playing.

Created and maintained by carleton97.

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